Memories That Mold

April was a month to celebrate many things- Spring weather, flowers and trees blooming, and often the time to celebrate Easter. For a military family like us, it is a dedicated month where we celebrate and show appreciation for our children. Month of the Military Child acknowledges the sacrifices made as they move, say goodbye to friends, and find themselves being the new kid at school over and over again. I grew up as a military child, and look back with gratitude on the opportunities to meet people from all different places, backgrounds and cultures. It also helped prepare me to empathize with my own child as he navigates and flexes his way through each new assignment and move we make now.   

Celebrating these amazing military children got me thinking about love, and how there are different types of it. Specifically, the type of love between parent and child called Storge. It is built upon acceptance and a deep emotional connection, and is shown through creating memorable and impactful moments in life. For children, military or not, I think creating memories as a part of feeling loved is crucial because it can be easy to feel disconnected with new changes, phases and stages in life.

It can be tempting as parents to just default to special months, holidays or milestones to create memories, but it is in the between times that I think we can make the most impact. Please do not think I am saying we shouldn’t celebrate those big moments too, but the deeper connection comes from building upon a bunch of little moments all strung together. I want our son to know how truly loved he is and want him to feel like he is worth our daily time and effort. I love to surprise him with his favorite dinner or take him on dates. It’s complimenting his haircuts or his outfits and telling him he is kind and smart and funny. It’s building a pillow fort instead of scrolling social media or reading an extra bedtime story instead of catching up on the latest episode of a favorite show. The early days of kids learning what it feels like to be loved deeply, this Storge type of love, are fleeting. Right now my son wants me to scratch his back while he falls asleep and thinks I am the prettiest girl in the world, but soon he will be ready to walk to his classroom on his own, no longer needing to hold my hand. 

But when that day comes that he is ready to walk alone, I want him to walk with confidence in the memories built up along the way. When each new challenge or move comes his way, I want him to be able to stand on a strong foundation of moments of love and acceptance from us that got him there. I want him to feel all these things from his parents so he can also be confident in accepting himself for who he is at each phase of his life too. 

I welcome each of you who are parents to do the same. As we look towards Mother’s Day next weekend, let us also look forward to the time in between the big celebrations of birthdays or holidays, soccer games or school programs. I challenge all of us to find the moments that may not be captured in a picture, but instead are captured in our hearts and minds. Enjoy building those invisible scrapbooks as much and as often as we can because we know it is with those memories that our children will go forward in life with our love and acceptance carrying them each step of the way.