Linger A Little

Well, here we are, 2021. We made it! I am sure like the rest of you, it felt at times that 2020 was never going to end. It was a year that began with so much hope and seemed to end with most of us racing towards a fresh start. It was a year that pushed all of us to examine ourselves a little bit closer. It was a time to see what could break us, and also what could shape us. There were protests and deaths. There was isolation and division. There was sickness, politics, hunger, fires and loss. So much loss. But in the midst of it all there was healing. There was conversation, camaraderie, reflection. There was recovery, births, marriages, graduations, and new jobs. There was a space launch and a new vaccine. Above all, there was time. Time to discover how to work and learn in new ways, and time to figure out how to take care of each other. It was uncomfortable and hard, but it was a year that I will always remember and always be thankful to have experienced. Every single day and year of life is a blessing. 

So why did I still rush to 2021? I don’t know about y’all, but I seem to do this repeatedly throughout life. When things are going how I want, I pray for time to slow down. We take that vacation we planned and looked forward to for months, and I want to savor every single second. A Friday night spent eating pizza, drinking wine and watching a movie seems to go by all too fast. I sit cross-legged on the floor of my son’s playroom, and I want to put the sights and sounds of him exploring his imagination on repeat. So why is it that I do not want to slow down when things are not going the way that I want? 

Afterall, I learn the most about myself in the trials. I grow most as a person when I am not in a comfortable spot in life, and I certainly seem to rely on my faith more in the times that are hard. It is not when I feel as though I have it all together (which is a rare occasion by the way), but when it feels that everything is falling apart that I discover more about the person I am meant to be in this world. So why do I want to rush through the times that are molding me and shaping me into a better version of who I am meant to be in life? Because difficult things, while rewarding in the end, are not comfortable to stay in for a long period of time. 

Growing up is full of learning difficult lessons about life. I am still learning them now. I think that is why as kids we cannot seem to grow up fast enough. We want to be able to have our first date, drive a car, vote, drink, you name it, we just want it all to happen right then and now. We do not realize how one day we might look back and wish we had treasured those moments a little bit more. These are all awkward phases to navigate and discover ourselves through, so we do not want to linger in them for too long. It feels as though 2020 was the same way for most of us. We were rushing it, racing towards 2021 as fast as our minds could take us. The plans, the hopes, the expectations for what 2020 was going to be did not seem to work out, so we pushed all of those to 2021 instead. 

But let’s not put too much pressure on 2021. It is another year of life. This means there will be more lessons, more awkward moments, more unmet expectations. But there will also be blessings. There will be more to be thankful for, and plenty to be prayerful for too. Let’s allow ourselves to linger a little. To soak in the growth, the milestones of being molded and shaped some more. Let’s have gratitude and let’s show ourselves, and each other, some grace. Thank you 2020 for all that you gave us, and even all that you took away because it brought us to where we are now. And 2021, we look forward to seeing what you have in store for us too.